


Clint has horrible taste in music

by Jessistired



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Gen, Road Trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessistired/pseuds/Jessistired
Summary: The Hawkeyes are on a road trip and pick up a lost Deadpool along the way.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Kate Bishop, Clint Barton & Wade Wilson, Kate Bishop & Wade Wilson
Kudos: 10





	Clint has horrible taste in music

“Why not?”

“Because I said so,” Kate answered. She kept her eyes on the road, but Clint didn’t need to see to sense her annoyance. 

Clint rolled his eyes, “Yeah, but why?” 

“Cause your taste is just the worst.”

“This coming from a girl who only listens to basic pop.”

“Anything is better than country,” Kate said, “And at least I’m in with the times.”

“And I’m going against the flow. Not letting other people decide for me.”

“Something that’s never a good idea for you. I mean just look at the way you’re dressed.”

Clint looked down at his shirt. It was a Hawaiian shirt that was covered in purple pineapple, “Hey, I like this shirt.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s a Hawaiian shirt.”

“So? We’re on vacation, remember?” Technically they were on the run from a criminal organization, but they decided early on that ‘vacation’ was a more fun term. 

“Yeah, in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma, not Hawaii.”

“You can wear Hawaiian shirts at other places besides Hawaii.”

“Of course, how could I forget the Bahamas?” Kate looked down at the fuel gauge. “We need gas.”

Clint tapped on his phone, “In a couple of miles, take the exit on your right.” 

Kate moved over, “Thanks.” 

While Kate was busy filling up the tank, Clint hijacked the aux cord. He blared a country song as loud as he could. Kate hung her head in shame as the other people at the gas station stared at them. When Kate attempted to get into the blaring car, she found the doors locked. She banged on the windows. Clint waved happily.

“Asshole,” Kate said angrily, “Let me in.”

In response, Clint just pointed to his ears where he had taken out his hearing aids. That made sense, no way he would be able to stand the volume of the music with them in. 

“I know you can read my lips. Unlock the door.” 

Clint now laid his seatback. Kate decided to walk away before she broke a car window trying to get to him. She went into the gas station and got some hot Cheetos. She also bought a purple snapback she noticed. The music was still loud when Kate walked back outside, but it seemed to be a different song. Clint had unlocked the doors.

The first thing Kate did when she got into the was hit Clint in the stomach. Then she turned the music down.

“Ow,” Clint said. 

Kate plugged the aux back into her phone, “I was willing to compromise with Lil Nas, but you’ve lost that right.”

“Worth it.” Clint adjusted his seat up, “Did you get me anything?”

“What do you think?”

“That you’ll share some Cheetos with me because you're a kind and forgiving person?”

“Wrong.” Kate turned out of the gas station, but Clint realized that she was going the opposite way from the highway. 

“Uhh, Kate?”

Kate already knew what he was going to ask, “There's a Starbucks nearby and I need more coffee to deal with your shit.”

“Starbucks, really?” 

“I’m not having this argument again.” Mentally, though, Kate was already preparing for it. 

“I’m just saying, it's an overpriced sweetener with some coffee poured into it.”

“When you get off your high horse, just tell me what you want.” 

Clint thought about it, “A macchiato.”

“Is that still the only drink on their menu you know?” 

“Maybe.”

“One day I’m going to force you to order something new.” But Kate let him have his macchiato. She got herself a frappuccino. Out of the corner of her eye, Kate saw Clint make a face at her coffee, “I thought we were done arguing about Starbucks for the day.”

“Iced coffee, Kate. Really?”

“What’s wrong with iced coffee?” Kate didn’t know about this pet peeve. She filed it away for later use.

“First off, coffee is supposed to be hot.”

“It’s like 90 degrees outside.”

“Secondly,” Kate took the fact Clint didn’t refute her as a win, “It’s just another way to water down the coffee.”

“Just drink it quicker.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that ice is taking precious space from my coffee.” Clint knew he won when Kate didn’t reply. He decided to not push the subject, end the argument on a winning note. Instead, he focused his energies on more important things, like stealing her Cheetos. They drove in a semi peaceful state for a couple hours, until they passed a figure clad in red.

“Was that?” Kate trailed off.

Clint moaned. “Turn around.”

Kate obliged. The next time she drove by she slowed down and went onto the shoulder of the road. Luckily the highway wasn’t very busy. 

Clint rolled down his window and shouted, “Deadpool!” 

“Hey guys!” Wade leaned on the car, “Got room for one more?”

Clint and Kate looked at each other. Clint didn’t need sign language to ask her, just an eyebrow raise. Kate shrugged. After all, it wasn’t like Wade could make things worse. If anything he would be entertaining. 

“Get in,” Clint said. 

“Yippee,” Wade hopped into the car, “A road trip with my favorite superheroes.”

“What are you doing out here anyway?” Kate asked.

Wade shrugged, “I don’t know. I woke up in a cornfield surrounded by empty beer cans.”

“What kind?” Clint asked.

“Miller’s light.”

“Weak.” 

“There were a lot of cans.”

“Sure, Wade.” Kate laughed. “Whatever you want to tell yourself.”

“You two are mean.”

Clint said, “ Whatever, lightweight.” 

Wade eyed the now empty hot Cheeto bag. “You guys have any food in here?” 

He didn’t wait for an answer before rummaging around. Clint hit him on the head, “Not right now.”

Wade melodramatically rubbed his head. “I didn’t have lunch.”

“We had some barbeque,” Kate replied. 

“It was really tasty,” Clint said.

“Rub it in, why don’t you.” 

“I’d love to go back,” Kate said. “But that’s hours away.”

“I would have thought the country music they played would have melted your ears,” Clint said.

“The food makes up for it.”

Before they could get into an argument Wade said, “I’m confused.”

“Kate’s been bullying me,” Clint said.

At the same time, Kate said, “Clint has a horrible taste in music.”

“What do you like to listen to?” Wade grabbed Clint’s phone from his hand.

“Hey,” Clint grabbed at Wade. Wade leaned back to avoid him as he scrolled through Clint’s phone.

“Oh, Clinton,” Wade said with fake melancholy.

“I know, right,” Kate said, vindicated. “He’s been trying to play country the entire goddamn trip.”

“That’s tragic.” Wade laughed and began taking pictures with Clint’s phone.

“You both suck,” Clint turned forward, giving up on getting his phone back. “I’m going to sleep.”

“Hand me the aux cord, Kate.” Wade ignored Clint. Kate did, figuring if Wade agreed with her on Clint’s music, anything he played wouldn’t be too bad. She was right. She enjoyed Wade’s playlist, even if it was a bit older than the music she listened to. Sadly, she felt obliged to take the aux cord away from Wade when he Rickrolled them. Although it was funny to see Clint jerk awake when Wade blasted it. Kate took back control of the aux, and Clint stayed awake, no longer trusting them. 

Their trip was once again interrupted when Wade spotted a homemade billboard for a roadside taco stand.

“No,” Clint said before he could ask. 

“C’mon, taaacos.” Wade whined

“Wade,” Clint sounded like a father talking to his whining kid on a road trip.

“Unlike you two I didn’t have lunch.”

“Well,” Kate said, “I could use an opportunity to switch with you.”

“I’m starving.” Wade leaned forward.

“Fine,” Clint said.

“Yay,” Wade reached into his belt and pulled out a hello kitty wallet. “I’m buying.”

Despite the taco stand's dingy appearance, the food was actually good. It was like Clint’s favorite pizza place, a diamond in the rough. The only risk Clint and Kate had of throwing up was watching Wade try to fit entire tacos into his mouth. It didn’t really bother Clint, but it caused Kate to gag. 

The stand even offered fresh fruit that the owners grew themselves. Kate bought some strawberries, which she would only share if the other two promised to stop being nasty. 

“I could drive,” Wade offered as they cleaned up from their dinner. 

“No,” Clint and Kate said in unison. 

“How come that’s the one thing you guys immediately agree on?” Wade asked.

“You’re not getting shotgun either,” Kate said.

Wade pouted, but he got into the back, “Where are we going anyway?”

“A motel,” Clint answered. “It’s only a couple hours from here.” 

“I can’t wait to be in bed,” Kate said. 

“Wait, what are the sleeping arrangements?” Wade asked.

Clint and Kate looked at each other.

“I don’t trust him in the car,” Clint said.

“Hurtful,” Wade said.

“Well I’m getting a bed to myself,” Kate said, “So you two figure it out.”

“Why do you get a bed to yourself?” Clint asked.

“Because I’m a girl.”

“One time I opened the door for you and you called me a chauvinist pig.” 

“That’s because you were being a chauvinist pig.” 

“Your hands were full of groceries.”

“And?” Kate demanded.

Wade leaned forward to whisper to Kate, “Do you actually remember this?” 

“No,” She said. She probably did say it, though. As a joke. She turned back to Clint. “Besides, you owe me after locking me out of the car.”

“Okay,” Clint said, “I guess I do owe you for that hilarious joke I played.”

“Well you two have stuck me in the backseat all day,” Wade said, “So I think I should get a bed.” 

“You haven’t even been in the car all day,” Clint said, he and Wade argued halfheartedly about it all the way to the motel. Neither man was willing to give up, but both were too tired to put up much of a fight. Kate put her headphones in and an eye mask on, effectively tuning out the other two. 

Clint shook Kate when they arrived at the motel. It was a shabby-looking place with a green pool. Clint and Wade still hadn’t decided who was going to sleep on the floor, she left them to argue while she got them a room. When she got to the front desk it finally dawned on her that they could just get two rooms. That’s what she did. One room for Wade, another for her and Clint. 

“God, we’re idiots,” Clint said when Kate told him the plan.

“Yep,” Kate said.

“Well,” Wade pulled his bag, “I don’t know about you two, but I’m ready to go find some horrible reality TV to watch.”

“Before you settle in,” Kate said, “Do you want to spray your room for bed bugs?”

“He has a healing factor, Kate,” Clint said.

At the same time Wade said, “No thanks, I gross them out.” 

“You gross them out?” Kate asked. Wade nodded. “Whatever, I’m going to spray our rooms.”

Kate grabbed Wade’s key back from him. She didn’t trust him to spray, and she was not about to let him spread bed bugs to all of her things. The spraying didn’t take long. Kate was dutiful and made sure she got to all the important places. 

Clint was sitting in a pool chair when she got out. Wade, however, was in the disgusting pool. Fully clothed. 

“What the hell?” Kate said as Wade swam around. “That’s disgusting.”

“It’s not nearly as gross as it looks,” Wade said.

“How do you know that?” Kate sat next to Clint, “You’re probably getting a bacterial infection from that water.”

“Healing factor.” He reminded her. 

“Still gross,” Kate said.

“Tell her why you’re in there,” Clint said. Wade went uncharacteristically quiet. 

“Wade,” Kate said.

“I thought I saw a quarter,” Wade said.

“And what was it?” Clint asked.

“A chuck e cheese token.” Wade sounded so disappointed, that Kate couldn’t help but laugh. They stayed outside for the recommended time. Wade got out of the pool pretty quickly to dry off. He supplied them with some extra millers lights. 

"Can I ask you guys a question?" He asked.

"Okay," Kate said, hoping she wouldn't regret that answer.

"If I, theoretically, woke up with a random phone number that I didn't recognize this morning, should I call it?"

"What was it written on?" Kate asked.

"A napkin."

"Any blood?" Clint got a look from Kate for that question. "What? It's a fair question for him."

"No blood."

"I say call it," Clint said.

"No way," Kate said. "He doesn't even remember last night."

"Or the past three days," Wade added. 

"If there's no blood how bad could it be?" Clint asked.

"You're just looking for entertainment."

"I can't believe you would-"

"Shush you two," Wade interrupted, "It's ringing."

"Why are you using my phone?" Kate asked as she grabbed for it.

Wade leaned out of her reach, "Just in case I don't want this person to have my number. It's a Chinese restaurant."

Clint patted Wade on the back, "It's okay, bud. Once I got a number to a dry cleaner."

"No, I mean this restaurant is in China." Wade hung up and tossed Kate the phone. "This lady was speaking Mandarin."

"Wait, so you recognize Mandarin, but you didn't recognize a foreign calling code?" Kate asked.

"I was wasted when I got the number. Probably."

"It happens to the best of us," Clint said.

"It really doesn't," Kate said.

Kate was the first one to go to the room. Realizing that Clint didn’t have a key, she locked the door. Kate sat on the bed and scrolled through her phone. A few minutes later she was rewarded with Clint banging on the door. 

“What was that?” Kate walked towards the door. “I can’t hear you.” 

“C’mon Kate, I’m tired.”

Kate played Old Town Road on her phone, placing it close to the door so that he could hear it. She would let him in after the song finished and after her shower. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
